Posts Tagged ‘WASP’

This month’s vinyl nerd session is here and Chris and Damo nerd out for however long it takes to nerd out over records. We discuss all the usual nerd stuff and tell stories about albums, about bands, about anything and everything to do with records. Also, Chris gives us his essential guide to lounge exotica music. All this and more, Dead Boys style, on the latest episode of the Long Gone Loser Rock Show!

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Show amendment: the song by Jefferson Airplane is Law Man, NOT Outlaw. Dunno why I kept messing that up.



Posted: September 17, 2015 in Album Review
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W.A.S.P. – “Golgotha” (Napalm Records)

Sometime in the early 90s someone told W.A.S.P. vocalist, Blackie Lawless, that from that moment forward he should write concept albums and make sure every song goes for ages and has shitloads of solos and an over-usage of drum fills. He took that on as gospel and released the epic The Crimson Idol; a self-indulgent story of his debaucherous rise to fame and his detachment from his family. It actually sounds better than it appears on paper and he even manages to say the word “doctor” about 400 times through the course of the album… but that’s not important to anyone but the folks at LGL cos for some reason we thought that fact was worthy of a 20 minute rant on one of our podcasts.

Over the years Blackie and Co. have dished out countless albums of ass-kicking heavy metal meets rock n roll. Just take a look at 2001’s Unholy Terror. All killer, no filler. Listen to the track Hate To Love Me for a tasty sample to see I ain’t talkin’ jive. But I digress. In between his love of concept albums, Blackie decided to go right back to the formula used on their debut self-titled album and he released the brilliant Helldorado complete with charming song titles like Dirty Balls and Don’t Cry (Just Suck). Yeah, it sounds juvenile and it totally was but let’s face it, no one is going to award W.A.S.P. an AMA for their intellectual lyrics anytime soon. They’re W.A.S.P. – a band who jokingly referred to their band name’s initials as standing for We Are Sexual Perverts and whose vocalist happily wore a cod piece with the words “I FUCK LIKE A BEAST” emblazoned on it. Stay classy, Blackie!

Golgotha is the band’s 15th studio album. Yeah, really. I had to double count them as well to make sure but yep, it’s true. They may have gone under the radar for the most part but believe me, there’s a lot of gold to be found in their back catalogue (I won’t mention that horrible period in which Blackie thought embracing the idea of industrial metal would be a great innovative way for the band to move forward… just trust me when I tell you it sucked so don’t cry). With Golgotha though, the band have stuck to the one thing the people love in a W.A.S.P. album; those simple chord structures of D to A to E. Its simplicity is more intricate than most albums cos it takes some serious talent to write albums where you play the same chords over and over again.

Golgotha opens with the track Scream and as it builds and builds, it gets you psyched for a wild ride. A great opener and first listen had my foot tappin’ and I possibly played some air guitar but it wasn’t until the second track, Last Runaway, where the band hits their most melodically best. This song is an absolute killer and repeated listens were all the rage in the LGL office. I’m a sucker for a good melody and this song has it all and clocking in at 5 minutes and 20 seconds, I realised that I can only listen to the song roughly six times an hour. What a bummer.

Shotgun follows and is another upbeat rocker with bitchin’ guitar solos while the song Miss You is the token ballad which is a lengthy one at almost eight minutes long. The solo is like that extended version of Sleeping In The Fire where the guitarist (whoever Blackie has at the time when you see them live, it’s a revolving door in the W.A.S.P. camp) just goes on and on wailing away. This is by no means a bad thing cos the less backing tapes Blackie needs live for his vocals, the better. It should also be noted that six of the album’s nine tracks all start exactly the same way; acoustic mellow intro before the big build up to the power chords. Once this started happening from song four onward, I began thinking “haven’t I already listened to this one?” But nope, it was just how they all start. Good times! The album’s title track finale is an epic seven and a half minute closer filled with every W.A.S.P. cliché you could possibly fit. Well, besides using the word ‘doctor’. Basically, it’s awesome.

It has to be said that the playing on Golgotha is solid. Blackie’s double-tracked vocals sound great and the nine songs are all winners. Okay, so maybe Eyes Of My Maker fell a bit short but that’s only five minutes out of an album that goes for about an hour. Just listen to Last Runaway again, that’s what I do.

Even though Blackie Lawless doesn’t acknowledge his fans when they get their albums signed at meet and greets, I’m still gonna go on record and say that this album is classic W.A.S.P. and while Lawless has matured lyrically, he is still delivering the goods and writing albums that are holding up. Hell, he’s doing a lot better than ex-W.A.S.P. guitarist and co-founder, Chris Holmes and his latest album, Shittin’ Bricks. Seriously, don’t even bother, regardless how good the guitar playing is.

I hearby give Golgotha a whopping 4 blind armadillos in Texas out of 5.

Sawblades, fuck the world!!!

Growing up in the ’80s was one of the best experiences a kid could ever go through. Forget what those who never experienced it have to say. Let them slag off the ’80s as much as they want and praise the ’90s. Let them deal with the reality that their so-called great era was responsible for: commercialising punk rock, forcing us to deal with the horrors of rap metal / nu-metal, and not to mention the whole Nirvana deal and the grunge explosion. I hope you’re happy with that you ungrateful brats. But for those of us who grew up then with glam rock by our side, teased hair and an appetite for destruction, we knew what was up. We got to experience MTV when it played music, we know who Punky Brewster was, and we sure as hell remember when Bon Jovi was all about hair metal debauchery and not about Captain Crash having a nice day.

For those who don’t remember, or for those new kids on the block who due to the slackness of their parents doing the horizontal bop just weren’t conceived early enough and therefore unable to experience such a great era of music, I have come up with this guide to take you on a journey through 10 of the greatest music videos by ’80s metal / rock bands. Strap yourselves in because for the next 40 minutes, you are going to be re-programmed into something a little more respectful than your hippity hop jump metal that you hold so dear. Throw away your Adidas tracksuits that your bought because Korn told you it was cool, grab a drink and start watching because this is what it’s all about, my friends.

10. MOTLEY CRUE – “Wild Side”
Ok, this would have gone further up the list if it had more pyro, alas, it sits at number 10. Still though, it does have a bitchin’ spinning drum kit which was probably the coolest thing I’d ever seen when I was a kid. I mean, who wouldn’t want a spinning drum kit? Besides, the proof is right here in this video that spinning drum kits = females in skin tight leather singing backing vocals which = epic amounts of awesomeness.


9. WHITESNAKE – “Here I Go Again”
Not only is this a bitchin’ tune but the video is cool cos it stars the infamous Tawny Kitaen who ended up becoming David Coverdale’s mistress for Christmas. Proof that you too can marry the girl who stars in your music videos and if you’re lucky, possibly get her to do the splits on your crappy car. Apparently there’s a nipple slip in this video but I have never really payed enough attention to notice it because I’m more impressed with Coverdale’s hair and how when she pulls him into the backseat they don’t crash and blood flies everywhere and Tawny goes through the windscreen and her body flies through the air like Rose McGowan’s does in Death Proof and then Coverdale needs to have surgery because he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt and then the cops fine him for that and he loses his licence for six months and then they release Still Of The Night and the whole world is perfect again.


8. TWISTED SISTER – “I Wanna Rock”
What better way to fight for your right to party at school than with the help of Twisted Sister. Stickin’ it to the man as these rockstars come to your school and cause chaos and havoc all because some fat kid defaced a defenceless textbook. If heavy metal music means I am destroying my life then so be it, let me destroy the fuck out of it, grenades and all. Twisted Sister were the one band that kids could feel good about. They stuck up for us, regardless of the fact they looked like clowns. This video is a classic example of awesomeness and the obvious basis for which Steel Panther’s ‘Death To All But Metal’ was founded on.


7. MANOWAR – “Blow Your Speakers”
There isn’t much that is more metal and bitchin’ than a MANOWAR music video. This one is especially fab. We got four guys who are sitting around in mum’s basement, bored with TV when a mate suggests they listen to metal’s chosen warriors. Once playing, it’s too much for their turntable to handle and they immediately become possessed by the defenders of black wind, fire and steel and they mime their way through the next three and half minutes of pure power and heavy metal might. Drummer Scott Columbus even shows that drum sticks just aren’t enough for the brutal force of MANOWAR and decides to break them in half and use his fists instead. Nothing screams ’80s metal like that feat of strength does. My favourite part is when the kids go into some video store armed with a record and a VHS tape and gather round a TV and crank it up. Blow your speakers indeed! This video has all the cliche’s and more. Also, I wanna sword fight with guitars when I play my next gig.


6. RATT – “Body Talk”
I have included this for two reasons: 1) This song was in the movie The Golden Child starring Eddie Murphy and that ass-kickin’ babe, Charlotte Lewis, and 2) I want to perfect every single stage move that guitarist Robin Crosby (the blonde one) does so awesomely. Seriously, if I can do those, who knows what else I could achieve?! Oh, this song is awesome and much better than Round & Round (which you probably only know because of its inclusion in the movie ‘The Wrestler’ starring Mickey Rourke. Yeah, I’m onto you!)


5. MOTLEY CRUE – “Same Ol Situation”
Their second appearance in this list and rightly so. Hell, you could probably fill all 10 spots with Motley videos and it would be totally acceptable but I am trying to be diplomatic here. This video is everything you want at your rock concerts; Pyro, hot babes in red tank-tops, the nasty habits, Vince Neil singing, and a drum kit that comes out over the audience. Although what the fuck is up with Tommy Lee in his underwear? Surprised he’s not hitting the drums the same way he beeps horns on boats. Great song and a classic video with some bitchin’ mullets in the crowd.


4. POISON – “I Won’t Forget You”
Nothing says ‘I love you’ quite like CC Deville sitting on a bed confessing how much he misses his girlfriend while footage of the band surrounded by hot ’80s babes with big hair lust after them for some unskinny bop. Yeah, it’s lonely at the top. Life must have been really hard for CC and his buddies. All that money, all those girls, all that hair. It sure looks like touring in Poison back then would have been the worst experience for any red blooded male to have put themselves through. Ever. I sympathise with you Mr Deville, I really do.


3. W.A.S.P. – “LOVE Machine”
The classic tale of nerd girl turns sexpot because of W.A.S.P.’s love machines in nurses outfits and heavy metal music. These days a video like this would be quickly dismissed unless it was for a hip hop group or some R&B shit, but in the glorious ’80s (years before the internet and Google), this was as close to porn as our adolescent underage minds were able to go. Unless your parents kept a stash of porn in the house that you accidentally discovered whilst searching for birthday / Christmas presents then this would have been PG by your standards. I still haven’t worked out why singer Blackie Lawless walks like a crab or why that dude has tubes of flowing water around his legs.


2. GUNS N ROSES – “Paradise City”
This video shows everything that was awesome about Guns N Roses and gives you an indication of everything that’s wrong about the line-up these days. Mainly the fact that none of the original band are on stage with Axl anymore. Regardless, this video depicts GNR at the boom of their popularity and is packed full of stadium rock footage and other candid moments. A great video for one of 1987’s best songs. Fact.


1. BON JOVI – “Lay Your Hands On Me”
Nothing screams ROCK! like this video does. The opening drum beats sound all tribal n shit and it builds up to the climax. Just watch as Jon Bon Jovi comes up through the floor and that pyro goes off. Have a look at all those girls with big hair! Why aren’t all music videos this awesome? Pyro is the key. When in doubt, add more pyro. If I ever get to play an arena, my goal in life is to hold my mic out to the audience 15 metres above them so it makes no difference if the mic picks up the audiences screams or not and sing “Just a little bit louder now!”


Of course there are plenty more but this is where you come into it. I gave you 10 of the best. From here, you can ride like the wind. Fight proud, my son. You are the defender god has sent. Ok, I may be taking my Fighting The World lyrics a little too far but trust me, the ’80s was bitchin’. Growing up with the ’90s as your soundtrack would have really sucked. Watching punk rock become a commercial mainstream commodity was just weird. In the ’80s, punk rock was still considered dangerous and uncool. Rock N Roll was about partying and having a good time. Then grunge happened and ruined everything. Except Mudhoney. They were awesome. So were Green River and Mother Love Bone but that’s kinda where it ended.

Long live rock n roll!